For Me....

This is for me, and only me! It takes some convincing, though, and I don't think that should be the case at all. When John started this whole endeavor of reenlisting, we already had gym memberships. The problem was that the gym we were using had Nautilus equipment and nothing more. So while we are still paying for that membership, we found it justifiable to join our local YMCA. This way, we have access to all of the features that were offered at the old gym, but we can also add to the equation access to indoor and outdoor tracks for running, classes galore (aerobics, swimming, karate for the Kid, etc.). But the thing that got me the most excited was that there is this enormous heated indoor pool for my use! Why would a pool excite me? Requires some background info.

I was never athletic. I was always the nerd that did well in school. My junior year of high school, a friend persuaded me to join the swim team, and so I did. I have always loved the water. I kept it up the rest of my high school career. I was by no means going to win an olympic event, but I could do it. And it did things for me that I cannot easily explain. I felt better about myself. While I will always be on the larger end of the spectrum, everything was toned and taut. The smell of chlorine reminds me of that to this day!

So here I have access to these resources and have not used them once! My son has. My husband certainly has. But I have not. And I have this need to do something for myself for once, which is mingling with the fact that I am not happy with the way I look after seven years of marriage and motherhood. So this is a way of taking care of myself.

The first thing I have to do is locate a competition suit for fatties. If you have not had the joys of wearing any type of performance swimwear, then I need to elaborate. They are designed for comfort during workouts. Racer backs to keep the fabric off of your shoulders, preventing friction. High cut leg openings for the same purpose. And tight...very tight to make you all sleek and streamlined in the water. In other words, they hide NOTHING. I am not relishing this task. And for this purpose, they don't tend to make them for fatties. Swimmers are not usually fat, for one thing. But this swimmer is. I have located said suit. Plain black---yay! Black at least is slimming a little bit, though I doubt it will make a difference. It is on hold for me to pick up during my run-of-the-mill housewife errends tomorrow. If I add a cap and goggles to the equation I am set!

The problem is that I feel guilty. It is as if my doing this for myself will somehow subtract from how much is available to my overindulged child and spoiled husband. Heaven forbid I spend seventy bucks and a couple of hours a day on myself. Please don't be mistaken. John is all for it. He knows I need and want to do this. And as it is right now, we are mismatched. He is cute and fit now, and I am....well, NOT. So here I go. Maybe by the end of his first deployment, I will be as fit as I used to be.