The Tooth, Troops, and the Principal

It has been a crazy day here in this house. It all started with John. He woke of with a face that was swollen beyond fathom. He was drooling a little bit, also. Apparenly, he has a disordered tooth, but we had no dentist. So after a few phone calls, he was in the car and on the way to get the problem diagnosed. What I did not expect was for him to return with a treatment plan and estimate of over $800. But we have insurance! What is this about? Well, he has to have a root canal, and a crown, and that is the portion insurance will not pay. I called and took care of the arrangements. I was not pleased when she labeled me the "responsible party". Blah! Adulthood is not fun, children. I got the most expensive insurance plan at work with the highest rate of coverage because we are sure that my son will need orthodontia in the future. I had no idea my husband would be so expensive as well.

Then, while cruising one of my favorite websites, I found something that broke my heart. It would seem that there are 4 Marines that we know of who have received nothing from home since being deployed to Iraq. Excuse me? No "I Love You" letter? No "Come Home Safely" letter? Well, I took care of it. I sent them all letters through Moto Mail. I will work on care packages while off work this week.

Now for the principal. It would seem that my son got sent to the office for the second time this week. I do not know what to do with him. He cannot fathom that school is not playtime, and keeps talking to his friends. Grrrr.

Could It Be?

John got a call from the recruiter yesterday. He said he will be calling on Monday morning at 0900 to set up an meeting between John and the Batallion Commander regarding the waiver. I was completely unaware that the Batallion cammander would be the one to approve the waiver. Apparently all that is between John now is a physical and a signature from this man he is to meet. It's very exciting and positive news and yet it also has that fear factor in there. This may be it. The main topic of this blog may change from the process of reenlistment to the pratice of being a military wife.

There has been much speculation about this meeting in the past 24 hours. We are wondering if the waiver will be granted on the condition that John deploys. If that is the case, he said he would still do it, with absolutely no hesitation. It worries me and causes some sadness. I didn't really want him to say that he wouldn't, but I wanted at least a small amount of hesitation. To show he is thinking of us, the ones who will be left here at home to miss him and worry about him constantly.

Just a Bad Dream?

I had a nightmare as I was laying on the couch trying to take a nap to get ready for work tonight. I don't remember all of the details, but I remember John was being deployed to Afghanistan. He hugged me and walked away from me, stepping through these big double doors. Once inside, right over the threshold, he turned and made eye contact with me as the doors slid shut. I do remember tha panic I felt. I ran to the door, banging at the center where they closed, screaming for him to come back, to not leave me. I woke up crying.
John hugged me and asked why I was crying. I told him. His response was that it is going to happen. When this didn't help any, he just smiled and held me tighter, saying "But I will be right back to you!"
I am so scared for us.

The Conversation

On My Watch Tonight

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Finally, a real conversation regarding this decision John is making. It went like this:

"John, you have to promise me that nothing is going to happen to you over there. my life cannot take any more tragedy. I will end up in a mental institution."

"Then maybe I shouldn't go, because you know I cannot make that promise if I go off to war."

"But you don't understand what I am saying to you. You need to do this for YOU, not me or Evan. We are tough and resilient. I don't want you to do it for us, for the same reason I don't want you to NOT do it because of us. This is about you, and whatever you do, I will support 100%. I just need to know what you want so I know. What do you want?"

"Oooorah."

Just like that. Total absence of doubt. Fire in his eyes. He knows.

Back Home?

I attempted to blog about this on two separate occasions yesterday, and everytime I did, I stopped myself. John has gotten tired of the way that Navy recruiters have "handled" his reenlistment. So he has gone back to the Corps. It started as a few harmless calls and emails. It has ended up with his reenlistment to a reserve unit that will be deploying to Iraq in March of 2008. He will serve in a reserve unit for 1 year before being transferred to Active Duty, but most of that year he will be activated anyhow, due to the deployment.

I am so scared. I don't know why it makes such a difference that he will be a Marine instead of a Corpsman. I think it stems from the fact that Corpsmen are "non-combatant" whereas Marines are about as combatant as they come. Aside from that, as a Corpsman, it would have taken about a year for his training. Now I have about 5 and a half months now before he goes off to war. We were told that, should he join another unit that is not being deployed for a while longer, they will probably activate him and send him with a different unit, so there is no avoiding it. I have to let him go. My only other option is to throw a complete fit about the entire thing, and try to get him to not reenlist. I wouldn't do that though. After all, he belonged to the Corps long before he belonged to me.