Saturday, September 15, 2007

And so it begins...

I met him eight years ago, this Marine of mine with the liquid-brown eyes and heart of gold. He had this smile that was constatntly turned on, with these dimples that gave his face this childlike look of innocence. I am a practical, no-nonsense type of person, and never believed in such a thing, but it was love at first sight. Cheesy? Yes. True? Absolutely.
We were together constantly from the day that we met. Within a few short months, I went from being a proud, I-don't-need-anyone woman to a I-can't live-without-this-man fool. We built a life together in a short period of time, and I became a Mrs. Then a child was born. A child that had all of the good qualities of both his mother and father rolled into an amazing little bundle.
What we vowed on the day we got married, to cleave only to each other, has never had such meaning as it has with us. We would build each other up, only to have the world knock us down again. If there is one thing that I would say is credited to the amount of time we have had together, it would have to be our ability to dust off the pieces and build anew.
We have been on the verge of divorce over hurtful actions. We have been homeless and hungry, and we have been well-off financially. We have been tried again and again. But regardless of where life has taken us or where it will take us in the future, we will do this together, as gracefully as we can.
So I started this blog.....Why? He is leaving me, and I don't know if I can cope. Almost a year ago, we relocated for my career, and so we are alienated. This blog, like a school-girl's diary, is intended to be my outlet for all of the thoughts that are swirling around in my head. These are thoughts I don't know if I can share with him, as I don't want to break him down as he is just reaching his strongest state in the years I have known him and been by his side.
You see, he is re-enlisting in the military. It has been awhile since I have seen the salty Marine I married. He turned civilian. He got soft and beaten down by the world in which we live. He became wishy-washy on his outlook and what exactly it is that he wants to accomplish in his life.
But a few short weeks ago, he made a decision to do this, and he changed. For the first time in a long time, I saw emerging the man I married. His shoulders are no longer slumped, his head no longer bowed. For the first time in a long time, he is sure of what he wants and how he is going to make it happen. And he knows what to do, and how to do it well.
I watch this transformation, and see that, because of my love for him, I cannot let him see how truly frightened I am. How devastated I will be to see him go. None of these matter anymore. The only thing that matters is that his shoulders are no longer slumped, his head no longer bowed, and that the sparkle is back in his eyes. He has been there for me as I embarked on the journey to start a very challenging endeavor. Now the roles have reversed, and it is my turn to show, through my actions, that I will go the distance with him and support him in all that he does in his life.
So here you have it....The blog of a civilian American housewife as she transforms into a proud military wife. A virtual diary of the sacrifice countless American families are making as we speak. The birth of a brand-spanking-new military wife.

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